It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
