I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
