Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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