I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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