nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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