Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just pynch a tree in the face
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
