I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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