I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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