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part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize