Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
