so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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