Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
