Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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