This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
