So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
