Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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