then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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