Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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