I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
