i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I deserve this hangover.
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