you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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