Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize