why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
