k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
