I'm going to jail i love you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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