I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
