I just made out with a guy for $7.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
God I need to hump something, right now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
