I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
