Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
