You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize