Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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