we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
