is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Actions speak louder than pants.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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