WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
