I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
