12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
