I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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