so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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