paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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