You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
