mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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