U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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