I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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