I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
