He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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