dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
