pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
