Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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