Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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