My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
