You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
