you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
