Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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