We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
