i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
