I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize