I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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