Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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