I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
