If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
