Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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