i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize