What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
